AN OPEN LETTER TO ANYBODY WHO WONDERED WHY I SENT AN EMAIL ABOUT THE DOCUMENTARY MOVIE "ZOO" WHICH IS ABOUT A WASHINGTON STATE MAN WHO DIED (REALLY? I'M SHOCKED!) FROM INTERNAL INJURIES AFTER HAVING SEX WITH A HORSE

Ah! Good questions all.  All shall be revealed, at least enough to tame the prurient lurching about you are engaged in.

www.topdocumentaryfilms.com is a website (not about tops and bottoms - don't go there, please!) about guess what?

Top documentary films and TV series, all or mostly all viewable on site via linkage.  Everything from Carl Sagan's COSMOS and the BBC's complete PLANET EARTH series to THRILLA IN MANILA (ALI-FRAZIER) and TOUCHING THE VOID.

There are 1788 titles, some containing multiple films/shows a la the TV series (What's the plural of series?) in the following categories: see http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/watch-online/

I watch films and series on this site often.  Last night I noticed the category Sexuality. 

The mists of my memory cleared briefly, enough that I thought I knew what Sexuality meant, but to be certain I clicked on the Category Title.

And there, by gosh. In the very first listing was what might be my story: A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures. I did not click through, afraid of what I might see.  And as attracted as I was to the titles

My Big Breasts and Me
Red Light Blues
Sex Slaves
What’s the Problem with Nudity?,

my eyes dropped to the end of the list and to the word ZOO .

HMMMM, says I.  WTF is this, says I?  Naturally spooked a bit by whatever bent thoughts that spiked through my usually wholesome and innocent mind, I DID NOT click on the title, but rather copied and pasted it to Wikipedia and VIOLA! There it was, and probably still is.

I too find this repugnant (Is that a second date with a small dog?) and have added these items to my bucket list:

1. Demolish the Sundance Film Festival
2. Burn all copies of this phlegm, I mean film
3. Give Robert Redford a spanking that will be the talk of Park City for years to come or at least until 
4. I get my sanctified hands on Lindsay Lohan, whichever comes first. (Aha! An "un", an unintended pun.)

And what about that brave state legislator in Washington state, who introduced the bill that made sex with animals a crime?

Wow! Did he ever go out on a limb.  And how come it wasn't wasn't a crime until then? Were they too busy slopping the hogs - heh heh?

And what about the clever nickname (BIG DICK) for the equine participant, who was not harmed in any of these couplings according to PETA and ASPCA. (Just kidding, PETA loved it. The movie that is.)

And the dead guy who thought his anus was a feedbag, he had a security clearance from the US Defense Department or whoever issues those things. They fell a wee bit short in their background check, didn't they? (Aha! another "un", oblique though it may be.)

Anyway, boys, that's my story and it's the truth, sticky though it is.

Your pal,

Matty Joe

BTW: Had you ever heard of this incident or its subsequentiae?

BTWA: The survivors told the judge they were filming the last scene in Shakespeare's RICHARD III where he cries out tragically, "A horse! A Horse! My anus for a horse".